Loki Died Suddenly…

   I’ve been trying to figure out how to write this post, I’ll just do it between tears and take breaks to wipe them away. A little background info the begin with… Ronda had been hounding me to get a dog, for years, I told her it would be cruel to have a dog because we’re gone at minimum 10 hours a day and I’m gone 12 or more. In my view having a dog means we need to be around so the dog doesn’t get lonely.

After my Mom died we talked about it and decided to start looking, Loki was the very last dog we looked at and I told Ronda about her on the phone. I was at work and she was at the rescue center in Huntley. I would mention some dog names going through their webpage and Ronda would have them bring them out to her. All of them were boisterous and clearly wanting a lot of attention, who could blame them right?

I found Loki last because she had just been added to the site as Elena so I told Ronda about her and she asked them to bring Elena out. Elena came out and walked up to Ronda and set her head on Ronda’s lap, Ronda told them this is the dog, I suggested Loki for a name and Ronda loved it (I think that’s how it went). We did no research on Basenji/Shepard mixes but learned very quickly they are a bit too smart for their own good, they are independent like cats, stubborn and they will escape from places you’d think were impossible.

Loki was Ronda’s dog, that’s what I told her since before we got her. I had personal reasons for this and Ronda knows them and I tried to make Ronda believe that I wasn’t as attached to Loki or even Jessie the cat as she is. The truth is I love both of them, even that damned cat which has suddenly taken to acknowledging my existence once in a while. She’ll run in front of me and plop onto her belly for a quick belly rub and I’ll oblige before heading off to work. I digress…

So Ronda dropped Loki off at doggy day care every day, I complained about the cost but it’s what was needed to care for her so we did it. She hated the RV but like a good dog tolerated it and when she was outside she loved it and would run and run… I took videos and posted them to this blog, she would once in a while pose and make funny faces, I loved the looks she would give us.

Yesterday Loki was dropped off like any other day, she had been moody the past few days and refusing to eat, which is something she sometimes did, she was stubborn that way. During the day the owner of the doggy day care became worried when Loki started acting very off and she noticed her gums were cold and she thought maybe Loki was going into shock so she rushed her over to the clinic and stayed there with her.

Ronda went there straight from work and was told she could take her home but she was a little weak so Ronda carried her into the car and out of the car at home. When I got home she was laying there looking forlorn and crying but looking like she wasn’t in any kind of danger, just not feeling well. Ronda was told by the vet to wait until 9:00pm before giving her the next round of medication, at about 8:53 we figure it was close enough to 9pm for Government work so Ronda gave her the medication and we waited for it to kick in.

About 45 minutes later (I may have the times off but it doesn’t change the story) you could tell it was working, she was fighting it, she doesn’t like to be drugged so she fights it. We waited it out and could see it was winning and she was becoming drowsy, but she continued to fight and kept walking between her bed and my feet. She came back and put her head on my foot and made noises and threw up a little so Ronda called the animal hospital for advice because we were told to watch for this.

She talked to them and took Loki’s temp which was 99, they said put her to bed and take her into the clinic in the morning. I carried her upstairs and put her to bed, she continued to cry and make noises which animals do when they are hurting or not feeling well. At around 1:00am she fell asleep or that’s what I assumed, she would still make noises once in a while but Ronda checked and she was definitely asleep even though she was still whining.

I checked in a little later, I think around 3am (I’m actually unsure of both times right now, but doesn’t matter in the end) and she was quiet and I didn’t want to wake either her or Ronda so I went back to bed. At 5:30am Ronda woke me up crying very hard and I knew without her saying anything what happened, Loki died in her sleep. How do you absorb that, how does a dog running around the day before suddenly die like this? Naturally we second guessed everything we did, we caused this some how some way, I caused this by not taking her to the emergency room, by complaining about how much it cost to have her, this was my fault. I let Ronda and Loki down, there has to have been something I could have done, it’s going to take a long time before I believe differently.

I don’t know if there is any fault, we could blame the lady that said she would be fine and to just wait until morning…. but in the end we don’t know what the cause was. We should have results of her blood tests today or tomorrow, we know Loki was abused in some way before we got her as she had a broken pelvis when we picked her up, she was afraid of brooms and she had days when she seemed to be afraid of something.

We had Loki for just over 3 years, we believe we were meant to have her and take care of her and show her as much love as we could, which we did. We called her the spoiled brat which was fine for us, she deserved the care she received but she didn’t deserve to die so young, we can’t understand the reason she is gone and it’s going to take some time but we have 3 years of memories of her running around, acting goofy, allowing children to rough house with her and to allow a crazy Parrot to become best friends with her.

She will be missed very dearly dammit I can’t see the screen… we took Loki to the clinic this morning to have them cremate her and they are going to give us her ashes. She was a member of our family so she will get the same treatment, we’ll get an urn and put her on top of the fireplace. We are still taking the vacation, we need to get out of the house but it’s going to be hard to enjoy it.

      Loki on 1/30/2010, we had just brought her home, she could stretch out she was so small..

                                   July 6th of 2010, still a tiny thing but getting bigger…

                               Loki stood like this on 8/26/2010 for over 10 minutes!

             Loki making one of her faces                                        Her first Halloween! (2010)

 

   Her first time in the RV, unhappy camper!            First night with the RV, very happy outside!

 

                               Loki and Harley the Parrot at doggy day care

                                    Loki at Geneseo during our first trip in April 2011

                      Loki at Geneseo during their Halloween celebration in 2011

                 Loki in the RV, she was fine once she settled in, but always nervous at first.

                                                           She loved laying out in the sun

            Loki looking back to see what I was up to… this picture chokes me up

Well, the end has come, I don’t know how to end this post, we’re going to miss her more than words can say. I picture Loki in heaven running around and making people happy, just like she did for us.

See you on the other side Loki….